What is Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) ?

According to the MayoClinic.org Borderline personality can be described as the following:

“Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that generates significant emotional instability. This can lead to a variety of other stressful mental and behavioral problems. With borderline personality disorder, you may have a severely distorted self-image and feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you may desire to have loving and lasting relationships.”

To be honest reading over that definition of BPD I question is that really what I have and the reality is that it is although I have not necessarily fully accepted my diagnoses yet. The reasons why I have not accepted this diagnoses of BPD is because I have not really taken the time to research it, identity the symptoms which I have and finds way of tackling those symptoms. This blog post is my way of beginning to accept and understand my diagnoses of BPD.

A person with BPD often finds it hard to cope with the limiting demands of the world around them, something which I don’t feel I can connect with. People with this disorder may often take impulsive actions and can have relationships which become chaotic and unstable as a result of those impulsive actions. I myself do act on impulsions, specifically and impulsions which are related to self harm. I have gained control over my self-harm but there are times where I struggle with the impulses and sometimes I can indeed give into those impulsions.

BPD is often misunderstood. It is more common than other recognized mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. BPD is a serious condition because many people with the condition are prone to self-harm and attempt suicide.

Becoming aware of the symptoms of BPD which I can identify within myself are the following:

·      Awareness of destructive behavior, including self-injury, but sometimes feeling unable to change it

·      Short but intense episodes of anxiety or depression

·      Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses

·      Suicidal behavior

·      Feeling misunderstood, neglected, alone, empty or hopeless

·      Fear of being alone

Being able to identify these symptoms of BPD which are within myself has allowed me the opportunity to being to understand my condition as well as work towards acceptance of the condition. Above is a description of BPD as well as the symptoms which are relative to me, symptoms which I struggle with at different times in my life, some more than others and some more extreme than others.