Scary stuff.

Last week I had a pretty scary experience. Well you see I have asthma and I have had it now for two or three years but it never really affected me and if it did it only affected me when I was doing sports but not last week. Last week I had my first asthma attack and as you can guess form the title I was pretty scared. It happened after training when I was in school at a meeting about the school trip to Poland and things just slowly started to get bad with my breathing and to be honest if it wasn’t for my dad and my friends and the two teachers that wanted until I felt well enough to leave the school I would have been lost. So thanks to everybody who was there with me last week.


Anyway I managed to make it home but things took another turn for the worse and an ambulance to be called and no this was not my first time in an ambulance I was in one a few years ago when I fell down a man hole at an athletics competition and had to go to hospital but back to the topic. So yeah I’m not going into the details but thanks to the kind doctors and nurses and [paramedics I was home within a matter of a few hours and thankfully I didn’t have to say in the hospital. I even got some career advice form the nurse who was looking after me. Since last week I am being checked up on all the time and my dad barley lets me out of his sight at things like training and in school the girls wount leave me alone but I know its because they care so thansk!

I wrote this post to share with people that it is really important to live every day to the full, I know it was nothing serious but when it’s a new experience it’s pretty scary, so I learned something from that experience. Things can change ion a second so make every second count!

And seeing as how the title of this post is scary stuff well its halloween soon and well I get scared very easily. Mr K scared me in LCVP on Friday morning when he was standing at the window to the computer room with a scream mask on.... I got the firght of my life and even cried I was that scared. At lunch I was waiting for someone at the staff room and yet another teacher Ms M scared me while she was wearing a mask. I think it goes without saying that I will scream and cry even if something isnt that scary I blame horro movies for how easily scared I get...... I will never watch the strangers ever again and this time I think that I mean it!!!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A prisoner of my own mind

A while ago I wrote about a bump in the road that saw me take a step backwards…. That bump is still very much on the road and I am simply coasting along hoping the end is in sight somewhere. But when the end comes I have to ask, how long will it last for? How long will the good times last before we hit another bump? I don’t want this anymore, I no longer want the label I have attached to me, I don’t want borderline personality disorder. When I was first diagnosed I resisted my diagnoses, last year when I got unwell again and found myself re-entering the mental health services and engaging with the community mental health team I had to use every ounce of energy to truly accept my diagnosis and in many ways empower the label and allow it to help me understand myself. That label, which had a positive purpose no longer holds the same status, now it is simply something I do not want, something which has taken over my mind and body, it is something that I need gone, I need it to disappe
Read more

An unexpected week

Last week I went back to work and to say I was scared would be an understatement! On Sunday night I prepared myself as much as I could for what I anticipated to be one of the worst weeks I would experience in work. I expected to be riddled with anxiety to the point where I wouldn’t be able to go to work- I was not. I expected to feel pure panic as I drove to work each day, bordering on a full-blown panic attack- I did not. I expected to cry, each day over something minor, something small, something that wouldn’t have mattered- I did not. I expected to obsess over everything; put more rituals in place to ensure everything was perfect-I did not. I expected to hide the fact that I had been in hospital for my mental health, I expected to allow the shame I was feeling to take control, I expected to shy away from my colleagues during the week, I expected to fight this battle on my own, but I did not. It was a hard week in many ways, it was the first week back, I was sc
Read more

Shame

A week ago I found myself explaining to my therapist how I wanted to end my life, how I was so desperate for my mind to shut off and how I was ready to end it all, in that moment I felt distressed. A week ago I found myself ringing a close friend asking him to collect me from the local health centre because I had to go to hospital and couldn’t trust myself to be left alone, in that moment I felt ashamed. A week ago I found myself ringing my brother in law asking him to bring me to hospital, where I would need to go in order to stay alive, in that moment I felt guilty. A week ago I found myself ringing work to explain that I was being admitted to hospital for my own safety due to my mental health, in that moment I felt embarrassed. A week ago I found myself sitting on a mental health inpatient unit faced with colleagues from my work in pre hospital care working on the unit, in that moment I felt panic. A week ago I found myself fighting to keep myself alive, I found
Read more